I'm not sure how the "click bombing" would work and how that would cause you to get banned. Google is very, very good at detecting clicks by site owners and also other funny business. If you really think that is going on, you can contact Google and tell them that you are worried. That should help to protect you.
Without seeing your site it's not easy to make suggestions, but there is a lot of information on the web and even Google's site about what kinds of things to do. The main things that I recommend has two parts:
1) Wide ads across the top of the pages, or skyscrapers on the side. Have them blend in with your site design, or you can also use more contrast. These are designed for people that visit your site and for whatever reason, are going to leave right away because they don't like your site, or it just was not what they expected. They are NOT going to stay, so you can let them hit the "back" button, or hope they see an ad that will interest them and click on that.
2) Ads that blend well with your site design and mostly seem like related options to what you have on your site. These can be ads like above, or ads that are somewhere in with the content. A 250x250 block or even one small single ad down a paragraph or two can seem like a "sidebar" and interest people if the ads are targeted to the content. Then another ad block at or near the bottom of your content. The gives the reader something to do after they finish reading your page.
All this partly depends on what your site offers and what people normally do there. If you have a proxy site, then most of their time is spent looking at other sites. You don't have much screen space for ads, and they are not going to be paying much attention there anyway. If they are browsing in an "iframe", it might be possible for Google to sense what the content is and if you refresh the page every 5 minutes or so it may pick up on ads that relate to what they are browsing.
Send me your URL in a PM and I can take a look at it. I am going to be setting up a procy resource site and I can add it there...
